The Warriors Way (2010)

Pitched as a fantasy action film this failed to entertain. South Korean actor Jang Dong-gun stars as Yang an assassin for the Sad Flutes clan. Two warring clans declare they will never rest until every member of the other clan is dead.

The movie starts out like an asian style film done by an american studio that just doesn’t understand the art of asian cinema. Then it turns into a spaghetti western, then its ninjas vs cowboys in the poorest show down of all times.

Showing up in the spaghetti western bit Kate Bosworth, Geoffrey Rush, Danny Huston, and Tony Cox. Kate Bosworth is embarrassing to watch the performance is just soooo cheesy and so poorly written and directed its hard to take a thing she says seriously. The worst thing is its not poorly done enough to laugh at you just feel like you’re sitting through it waiting for the ending.

The film was written and directed by Sngmoo Lee, yeah I hadn’t heard of him either. This is his first effort and apparently is an ode to his fave movies “Shane” (1953) and “Seven Samurai” (1954).

The Last Air Bender (2010)

The last airbender is pretty bad. Based on a tv show on ABC kids and then written, produced and directed by M. Night Shyamalan I was expecting… something odd. The plot is that there are four clans of benders. They can bend water, air, earth or fire eg do some wushu moves and throw water, air etc around. Then there’s the avatar the one who can bend all of these elements and who is supposed to ensure balance but he’s been missing a while. In the avatars absence the fire clan get cranky and decide to take over. This doesn’t really deliver as a kids movie. The dialogue is so poor its like they gave the script to a transition class and got them to do the rewrites not to mention the acting. OUCH.

Invisible Target (2007) or Naam Yi Boon Sik

Nicholas Tse (Dragon Tiger Gate, The Promise) is Chan Chun a broken cop, Tse brings an amazing amount of raw emotion to the role. Shawn Yue is Carson Fong Yik-wei (Infernal Affairs, Diary) was really good in this, I think he brought the masculinity to the role that the others lacked? Jaycee Chan is Wai King-ho (Son of Jackie Chan) was fantastic as the cop with the noble heart. Together the three of them go after a ruthless gang who stole $100 Million dollars in an armoured truck heist.

I love that unlike the American cop buddy movie, good cop bad cop pairing this film goes for three good guys, two of which are arguably bad at times facing off against four villains with skills, rather than a smart leader with dumb cannon fodder types to round out their posse.

Wu Jing (“Fatal Contact”) Tien Yeng-yee heads up the gang and people have commented on his acting “whinge whinge, he can’t act”, ‘”he’s responsible for a high acting niveau in the film” etc. I think the guy was great! Did he behave like a ruthless villian with no soul but good clothing style? Yes! Would I wan’t to meet him in a dark alley way? No! Was he believable as a sociopath? Yes! The guy didn’t add a massive amount of character maybe it was direction? Maybe its not how the character was supposed to be portrayed. As a ruthless, highly skilled, sociopath, martial arts, killer he was solid.

Andy On as Ronin Tien Yeng-yee is number two in the gang and I’m still trying to figure out who plays the bad ass chick, my Cantonese is pretty bad I can only read river, bridge and mountain.

The first thing that is immediately obvious is that they’re not using any stunt men, the actors did all their own stunts and it makes the fight scenes and rooftop chases seamless. The chase scenes across the rooves of buildings are awesome to watch and really you just couldn’t film this anywhere else but Hong Kong. There’s no need for blue screen with added CG’d when you have the character of Hong Kong to feature. There are some really cute moments where you get a glimpse of the culture of Hong Kong.

Explosively entertaining. If you want deep serious acting hire something else but if you want adrenaline pumping action with lots of cool well choreographed martial arts fight scenes, wirework and ass kicking action, this is the film for you.

There are grisly moments that hurt, its just too real and you feel like you’re watching your mate get his ass kicked while you sit there and do nothing. The end fight scene is harsh.

Facts:
Nicholas Tse has been around the entertainment block as a singer, songwriter, composer as well as producing and directing.
Chun Yue was a model before moving to singing and acting.
Wu Jing comes from a line of martial artists and competed as a member of the Beijing Wushu Team (just like Jet Li).

For Your Height Only (1970′s)

This really has to be seen to be believed. I haven’t watched the movie, but this clip is a good laugh.

Ernesto de la Cruz is Weng Weng secret agent 00. When a scientist is kidnapped by the badie ‘Mr Giant’ Weng Weng is sent to save the day. At 83 cm (2 feet, 9 inches) tall, Cruz is in the Guinness World Records as the shortest adult actor in a leading role. The film did so well it even got a sequel ‘The Impossible Kid’.

Ninja Assassin (2009)

Okay so right away with the gore factor, gore makes up for storyline right? Accuracy? Soul? This film shows a serious lack of understanding of history, culture and asian cinema, but this was to be expected with an all American producers, writers, and director. Jeong Ji-hoon or Rain (The Popstar) is the only thing that makes this film watchable. His dialogue is shit, yes English is probably his 5th lanugage but still he delivered his lines as well as was possible given that his lines were shit. There is a scene in the beginning of the film where you see Rains character Raizo training. Its a seriously buff scene, its like did someone say ‘work ethic’? He trained for eight months, five days a week, and eight hours a day eating only chicken breasts and vegetables. No sugar, no salt. He also began martial arts training. I feel for him the work paid off.

For me the film was pretty awful. Marginal at best. Rain was really the only character compelling enough to keep you watching. The American choreography was awful. There is no power or sould in the movment. Rain is a pop star but still this is the role of an assiassin and his performance should rise to meet the challenge, I don’t think they needed to dumb it down for him. The fight scenes focus on interesting angles and clever cinematography not to mention the old ‘speed it all up so it looks like something scam’. Then there’s the glaring historical accuracies, i’ll focus on the basics, eg the ones frat boys discuss over beer. So historically Ninjas probably dint’ even use swords. The Ninja sword is a fantasy, a made up weapon. They may have had swords but they didn’t rely on them as a weapon. Its not enthralling by any means, the first scene is cool but it gets worse scene by scene after that. Why Americans thought they could successfully make a Ninja film is beyond me they lacked everything essential. Good story, good fight scenes, good choreography, good sense of history, honour etc. Worst of all it trys to educate, but its sooooo dummed down with backstory, no doubt for the Americans who maybe didn’t know what a Ninja was leaving the rest of us to cry out in pain and throw popcorn at our own tv. I wanted to yell, ‘We get it, we know what a freakin Ninja is, screw the backstory and develop the plot’!

Rain is the only good thing about this film. There is nothing in the character to make it dynamic or interesting so i’m putting that down to him. He’s dynamic and interesting, when he’s in a scene it goes somewhere, but in a scene without him you pondered turning it off. He really was the only thing that kept you watching. He had soul and believability, which I did not think was possible from such a poorly written, poorly scripted, poorly directed film.

Skip the film. Youtube has some great links of the fight scenes which means less painful dialogue and pathetic looking gore. These are the scenes that made this film.

And here’s Rain bustin a move

Chuck (2007) Season Three – Chuck is back my friends and he knows KUNG FU!

YAY merry freakin christmas new year etc and thank you baby jesus my CHUCK IS BACK!!!

So naysayers, sooky-lah lahs and purists that whined about season three being crap – eat lizard tails and vampire ash!

Chuck season three is awesome – its sassier, funnier, cooler, gadgetier, and Chuck is more out of his depth then ever only this time he really doesn’t know it. The characters have all grown a bit and the story has changed the tension between Chuck and Sarah making it almost to much for the romantics at heart to bear. Casey is still Casey, ballsy, brash and thats how we like him. All the faves are back except… Anna (Julia Ling) – Oh Anna how could you leave us, who will we find to love the bearded little man now. Please Anna we miss you come back. An addition to the team Darren Shaw is given the lead on all things Chuck in an effort to go after The Ring. Its all out weirdness with the casting of season threes newest characters Brandon Routh plays Shaw (you might remember him from such films as the abysmal 2006 film Superman Returns) and Kristin Kreuk (who you might remember from playing a wet rag – I mean girl next door type in Smallville). So superman tie ins… Weird, were they hoping for nerd Irony? They’re both ok in the roles but I think the Superman double whopper was too much to add.

If you haven’t caught up with Chuck season three here’s a preview and Zachary aka Chuck says thanks to the fans.

When the season three 2-part premiere aired in the US it pulled the series’ highest ratings since 2007.

My addiction and undying love for Chuck remains solid. There are the shows that wear on you like Big Bang Theory which for two seasons is awesome then somewhere along the line, it becomes the warm up instead of the main event. It becomes the show you watch while wandering around your living room hunting for your pajamas, ignoring your ringing phone, checking a text message and reheating dinner. You know the show you can’t commit to sitting still for. You know the ones.

Chuck will never be the warm up! ITS JUST TOO AWESOME.

Season three is as cool as ever! Luving Chuck, Luving Awesome and super luving Morgan. There are some harsh twists that have hurt me so much i’ve taken to drinking serious vodka people just to warm myself up to talk about it online with all you luverly folks who I don’t even know.

11 Eps in and the news is not good for Casey! And I Hate HATE HATE Shaw. With his beady little superman eyes.

Rob-B-Hood (2007)

Octopus (Louis Koo), Thongs (Jackie Chan) and Landlord (Michael Hui) are down on their luck theives. Thongs is a compulsive gambler and a disgrace to his family. Octopus lives by the theory that marrying a rich woman will enable him to live the good life. Unfortunately wooing rich women is a costly business and Thongs remains well dressed but broke despite the money he makes as a theif.

Their mentor Landlord is older and wiser? Carefully saving his money, stashing it away while living in a tiny place with his ‘eccentric’ wife.

Their big break comes when Landlord finds them a $30 million dollar job that will change their lives forever. The theives quickly forget that the devils in the details with Octopus and Thongs forgetting to ask what it is they have to steal.

The haul on this occasion turns out to be a baby. The thieves soon realise they have no idea what to do with baby Matthew and in true chinese style the hilarity ensues.

The film is really funny and is very entertaining. The stunts as always are beyond hair raising with Chan still performing all his own stunts, the freakiest has him hanging from a roller coaster in Ocean Park and another one has him leaping from one airconditioner to another all the way down the side of a building.

Fun Facts:

After over 100 auditions for the role of the baby, Matthew Medvedev was cast when an assistant director spotted him on the MTR. Matthews folks were on holidays in Hong Kong but agreed to stay and let their son be in the film.

This is the first film in over 30 years where Chan is a bad guy.

Chan suffered minor injuries when he was kicked in the chest by a stuntman wearing the wrong boots and when he fell off a quad bike, while attempting to do a wheelie.

This film was made for $16.8 million US.

Samurai Girl (2008)

This was a fun show while it lasted (one season only) but its worth a look. Its a bit b-grade but very enjoyable. Tian (Heaven in Chinese) Kogo is Samurai Girl (Jamie Chung), a spoilt rich girl whose life takes a turn for the interesting when her arranged marriage falls apart when the groom is murdered by a hunting party sent for her. Tian flees with white boy Jake (Brendan Fehr) who sadly teaches Chinese Tian martial arts. Tian is brefriended by Otto (Kyle Labine) and the ever bubbly and talkative Cheryl (Saige Thompson). Ken Choi is cool as Sato the bad guy. There’s some stuff about ancient ancestry, destiny etc all the usual chinese story elements. Its a great b-grade show, its funny, it has some martial arts and its nice light entertainment.

Sadly it only got one season but is still worth a look.

Note: As soon as I set eyes on Kyle Labine in this role I realised two things: one that he was playing a watered down version of the Character Burt ‘Sock’ Wysocki from ‘Reaper’ and two that he must be the brother of Tyler Labine who plays Sock.

Top 20 Kids Flicks from the 80′s

In No Particular Order:

The Goonies (1985)
Gremlins (1984)
Spaceballs (1987)
The Last Starfighter (1984)
Uncle Buck (1989)
The Boy Who Could Fly (1986)
Labyrinth (1986)
The Dark Crystal (1982)
E.T The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
D.A.R.Y.L (1985)
Short Circuit (1986)
Transformers – The Movie (1986)
The Neverending Story (1984)
Willow (1988)
Flight of the Navigator (1986)
The Karate Kid (1984)
Explorers (1985)
Ghostbusters (1984)
Transformers – The Movie (1986)
Howard The Duck (1986)

Other Classics:
Care Bears Movie (1985)
Space Camp (1986)
The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984)

One of the Worst:
Garbage Pail Kids (1989)

Top Ten Art House Movies

Il Mare
House of Flying Daggers
Hero
Cashback
Garden State
Run Lola Run
Fear and Loathing in Los Vegas
Daywatch & Nightwatch
Brick
Pulp Fiction