Predators (2011)

Ha Ha Ha, can you believe they made another one, I really thought all the hashouts were done (there are four other films). But no… there was money to be made, apparently a lot, with this raking in an estimated total of $126 million worldwide.

Its labeled a ‘science fiction action-horror movie’. But lets face it its Predator people its B Grade action pure and simple. The only Horror was the acting and CG.

Directed by Nimród Antal with an impressive cast for Predator fodder including Adrien Brody, Laurence Fishburne, Topher Grace, Alice Braga, Walton Goggins, Danny Trejo, Mahershalalhashbaz Ali, Oleg Taktarov and Louis Ozawa Changchien. You may think you’ve never heard of these guys but they’re each heavy weights in their own countries, Oleg is Russian and was a UFC fighter before turning to acting. Trejo has been entertaining us since 1985. Braga is big in Brazil but is getting around more in the US. Goggins is that ‘oh yeah that funny looking guy’.

Anyways the plot (cough cough).

Brody is Royce a mercenary, he falls from the sky and lands in a jungle, he meets the others they agree not to kill each other, they get hunted by predators. Um the twist, if you could call it that, they’re not on earth and they’re on a game preserve where they’re the game.

A few beers in, after midnight when you’re too tired to watch the cool stuff on your hardrive, this could be what you’re looking for, B Grade action with s##t blowing up.

Paradox (2009)

This is The Bill meets Dr Who.

It all gets weird when a satellite begins receiving images of crimes that haven’t happened yet. Detective Rebecca Flint (Tamzin Outhwaite) begins trying to solve the crimes before they happen.

Its sooo English! It’s slow, uptight and irritating. I think the pacing is what kills it each episode is an hour long and if shortened to half an hour it might have been better off.

There is no second series and you can be grateful for that.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

So good I got halfway through it and decided sleeping was better. The next night faced with Australian Idol, I returned to watch the end of it. It was just that good. Craptacular!

Leverage (2008)

The plot: An ex insurance investigator Nate (Timothy Hutton) is approached by a company to retrieve their stolen data from a rival company. The rest of the team is made up of Eliot (Christian Kane) retrieval, Parker (Beth Riesgraf) thief explosions expert, Alec (Aldis Hodge) computer geek/hacker. The plan goes to shit and the team decide to do what they do best, be bad. Sophie (Gina Bellman) joins the team later and improves the shows appeal. When the team come into some money they start their own firm ‘Leverage’, where they lie, cheat, grift and extort money from the bad guys and redistribute it to the good guys.

Its a reasonable show but not brilliant, its a bit predictable at times and lacks some of the pizazz of other heist tv shows most notably ‘Hustle’. Its b-grade and its enjoyable. Its ok in the downtimes when your faves shows go on hiatus and start filming series 2. The biggest issue I had was with the acting. Hutton, Hodge and Bellman carry Kane and Riesgraf. Riesgraf is the weakest link in ep 1 she was flat, all over the place and couldn’t seem to keep up with the others. No wonder they needed Bellman! I hope she improves as she ‘settles’ in the role, or dies by episode three that would be ok too.

Warehouse 13 (2009)

Plot: In the middle of South Dakota is a government warehouse filled with mysterious and supernatural objects of ancient origins.

Two secret service agents are posted there, their mission to retrieve missing articles, investigate reports of new ones and protect the objects and the country (of course).

So its ok, I’d put it with the closest movie comparison of ‘The Librarian’. Its probably ok for 14 year old kids or to watch as a family. The plot is slow to move, the characters are pretty flat, they both seem way too dumb to be SS agents and would be better trying to pass as cops. Its very B grade and really didn’t grab me.

Samurai Girl (2008)

This was a fun show while it lasted (one season only) but its worth a look. Its a bit b-grade but very enjoyable. Tian (Heaven in Chinese) Kogo is Samurai Girl (Jamie Chung), a spoilt rich girl whose life takes a turn for the interesting when her arranged marriage falls apart when the groom is murdered by a hunting party sent for her. Tian flees with white boy Jake (Brendan Fehr) who sadly teaches Chinese Tian martial arts. Tian is brefriended by Otto (Kyle Labine) and the ever bubbly and talkative Cheryl (Saige Thompson). Ken Choi is cool as Sato the bad guy. There’s some stuff about ancient ancestry, destiny etc all the usual chinese story elements. Its a great b-grade show, its funny, it has some martial arts and its nice light entertainment.

Sadly it only got one season but is still worth a look.

Note: As soon as I set eyes on Kyle Labine in this role I realised two things: one that he was playing a watered down version of the Character Burt ‘Sock’ Wysocki from ‘Reaper’ and two that he must be the brother of Tyler Labine who plays Sock.

Top Ten B-Grade Movies Worth Watching

Stealth
Return of the Killer Tomatoes
Steal
Evil Dead
Extreme Ops
The Ghosts of Mars
The Brotherhood of the Wolf
Zombie Strippers
Big Trouble in Little China
My Name is Bruce

I do note that some of the above movies were supposedly A grade in that they had funding, famous actors and should have produced an A grade movie but lets face it, not A grade material.

Mindhunters

Quality B Grade fun!  This film is based on the book Mindhunter written by John Douglas and Mark Olshaker.  Their book is about the FBI’s serial crime unit and it looks at how behavioural programming stated and how it became a tool in catching some of the US’s most famous murderes.

The movie focuses on a group of FBI agents who go to a deserted Island to take part in a simulated murder so they can become better profilers.  With established actors like Christian Slater, Val Kilmer, Johnny Lee Miller, Kathryn Morris (Cold Case) and Patricia Velasques (The Mummy).  I was intrigued to find it at the video store having never heard about it.  I was pleasantly surprised, its a great flick.  Be warned it’s a bit gory in some places and may not be recommended if you really like cats.  The opening scene is pretty hard core, almost like a horror film but it gets less gruesome as it goes on.

Witchblade

If the Sarah Conner Chronicle’s had you thinking Lena Headley’s portrayl of Sarah was the worst abomination you’d ever seen, this show is for you!  The main character Sara Pezini (Yancy Butler) or Pez is what Sarah Conner should be in a tv show.  Pezini is a detective, she’s buff, balsy, headstrong!  Did you hear me?  Finally a female cop who is balsy, buff, and headstrong, not angsty over her ex husband, or with perfect manicure and hair, this is about a cop!  Butler is seriously channelling Linda Hamilton with a dash of Angelina Jolie.  Butler chases bad guys, gets dirty, rides a motorbike and is a ball breaker.  While chasing a bad guy in a museum she comes across the Witchblade.  During the rapid exchange of gunfire she finds the Witchblade has attached itself to her, one minute as a hippyish bracelet and in the next full arm armour and eventually full body armour. Then of course theres the cool built in sword!  Handy gadget and I think every woman should have one!  The Witchblade is magical, mystical etc and has chosen Pezini as its new owner, is it a gift or a curse?  This is not a new show but it is solid B-Grade action entertainment.

The supporting cast is excellent with Will Yun Lee as Det. Danny Woo provides a nice familiar face as he partners up with Pez. Eric Etebari is clearly cast more looks then his acting talent which falters a bit here and there. Eric is Ian Nottingham of dubious past and present he really plays a shadow almost, shadowing Sara and the Witchblade. David Chockachi is Det. Jake McCartey who is not all that he seems. John Hensley plays Gabriel Bowman a geek in the know.

This show only saw two seasons as the show was put on hold while Butler was in Rehab due to issues with Alcohol.

Zombie Strippers (2008)

The Plot: Sadly you don’t pay much attention to the plot as you’re
laughing at the cheese and waiting to see a Zombie. Basically an
elite troop of Yank marines goes in to contain a virus that causes
Zombiness. Byrdflough (Zak Kilberg) gets bitten and escapes to a
local rundown strip club where he attacks a dancer.

The Players:
The club owner Rhino (Robert Englund).
The new girl Jessy (Jennifer Holland)
The clubs best dancer Kat (Jenna Jameson)

So like Snakes on a Plane, I didn’t have high expectations from this
film. I expected Zombies and I expected Strippers, that was about it.
The film delivers so much more. Its got an offbeat Tarantinoesque
style of story telling without the complexity of a Tarantino film.
Its completely unrealistic, the acting is b-grade, the gore is
uberfake and you love it.

People whined about the poor production value, disliked the attempts
at political satire, and yelled ‘poor execution’.

Its a c-grade film people! Its super hammy with extra cheese its not
the freakin piano – its Zombies and Strippers! I don’t think anyone
who walks into this is expecting clever political satire, afterall can
you see a porn star being cast in a drama filled political satire! I
don’t think so, although it might make a lot more people interested in
politics.

Random fact: Zombie strippers is based on the French play
‘Rhinoceros’ by Eugene Ionesco.