Weeds (2005)

Weeds is funny, lets start with that. Mary Louise Parker is Nancy a housewife with two kiddles living in suburbia hell. Her husband dies and she starts selling weed to help keep up her lifestyle. The only problem is that it turns out she’s quite good at it. She gets in over her head but somehow always manages to stay afloat. At first things work out for her but slowly and surely her life and the lives of her kids Silas (Hunter Parish) and Shane (Alexander Gould) change dramatically as they all become more involved in bigger and more badass illegal activities. Her brother in law Andy (Justin Kirk) comes along for the ride after he arrives to mooch of them and gets more than he bargained for.

This has more sex scenes than HBO it got embarrassing it was like am I watching porn for middle aged housewifes or a comedy here??

Other than the sex the show is funny. The characters Heylia (Tonye Patano) and her son Conrad (Romany Malco) are hilarious as the family on the wrong side of town who keep Nancys weed supply up and try to educate her in the subtleties of the drug business.

This show is cleverly written, well paced and extremely well cast.

Awkward (2011)

Billed as a comedy but its a teen drama. Jenna is 16 and her life is normal. Sigh oh the pain! She gets a note with dots points of how to improve her life which is like really mean. She then has an accident that looks like a suicide, changes her attitude and her life. The amount of sex in this is frightening. I’m like come on their like 16, nobody wants to watch 16 year olds making out and if they do they should be in jail. HELLO.

Anyways if you age everyone up in your head and pretend their like immature 18 year olds it feels better. It is sometimes funny it is watchable but I wouldn’t really consider it age appropriate for your teens.

Being Erica (2009)

Pure schtic. Erica is OMG like 32 and doesn’t have a wicked job or boyfriend so her life is like totally over, yeah. She is all sad that her life isn’t perfect and she’s soooo old. GAG. Anyways boring little sookie la la Erica meets a pathetically 80′s, disney, predictability rating of 10 out of 10 shrink. Whos office appears like magic ya’ll. She makes a list of all the things she regrets blah blah blah and then magically goes back in time to fix them all. I can only imagine the pain one would go through if they had to watch every episode of this crap.
SUCKS!

Alphas (2011)

So this aired on the Sy fy channel and we had hoped for so much more. Disappointing doesn’t begin to cover it. This is right up there for quality with Dark Angel, Sanctuary, Haven and Eureka cough cough.

So Dr Rosen (David Strathairn) studies and heads up a group of people with super abilities nicknamed Alphas with government sponsorship.

The Alphas include:

Bill (Malik Yoba) an ex FBI he can cause his endocrinal blah blah yawn boring to kick in so he has superstrength. Nina (Laura Mennell) the only one with a decent power uses mind control to help the government and Alphas catch baddies. So boring!!! OMG what a waste. Gary (Ryan Cartwright) is autistic but can view wireless communication signals, and watch tv without turning it on. Rachel (Azita Ghanizada) can heighten her five senses (sight, smell, taste, hearing and touch).
Cameron (Warren Christie) is the reluctant newb after they find him episode one. He has ‘hyperkinesis’ so he can move fast.

Together with woeful dialogue and a plot thinner than Homer Simpsons hair they solve crimes, yawn and oppose the baddies with superabilities called Red Flag. Maybe they should have made a show about them instead.

This show is a total bust.

I Am Number Four (2011)

Did you notice that 2011 = 2 + 1 + 1 which = 4?

So anyways…

Everyone kept sayings to me, ‘Have you seen I am number four, what did you think?’

Normally people go ‘Wow it was awesome, or it sucked or whatever, something’. This one came with reluctance. Like no one wanted to admit how they really felt.

I’m going to go out on a lim and say i liked it. Was it amazingly brilliant plot wise, no, was it completely unpredictable no but it was reasonably enjoyable.

Plotwise – a bunch of aliens from another planet get sent to earth to be protected from some other more badass aliens that took over their planet. They are now all hot teenagers living life on the run. Their parents weren’t creative types, giving them numbers instead of names, hence he’s number four. For some reason the badass aliens aren’t too badass for hunting them down and killing them in numerical order.

The special effects and cg were cool. The acting was solid. It was predictable but enjoyable. Fun holiday viewing.

No Strings Attached (2011)

This movie is paint dryingly dull. Its not funny, its so predictable and its super boring.

Community (2009)

Community is about a group of people going to Greendale Community College.

Jeff (Joel McHale) a recently disbarred lawyer accidentally starts a spanish study group when he hits on Britta (Gillian Jacobs) and ends up inviting her to join his study group… which doesn’t exist.

Britta tells everyone about the study group and soon
Pierce (Chevy Chase) and his political incorrectness rock up, feelings are not on the radar for this 7 times divorced millionaire. Shirley (Yvette Brown) is a single mum who goes to Greendale to learn about how to start her brownie business. She’s a christian and she adds to the general sweetness of the group.

Abed (Danny Pudi) is socially awkward and obsessed with pop culture, he brings the pop culture references like nobodys business. Annie was an A grade student who took a nose dive when she became addicted to prescription drugs. Her long time crush
Troy (Donald Glover) is a high school star quarterback whose shortlived fame ended when he suffered an injury. He still hasn’t noticed Annie.

Ben (Ken Jeong) brings the ‘piss’ to the funny as the asian spanish teacher, will anyone ever find out he’s not really qualified?

Webisodic Coolness

Featured on the front page of the Greendale Community College website on the AV Department page. Learn about the daily life of Dean Pelton, see what happens during study breaks, as well as enjoying productions from Abed Films.

The Adjustment Bureau (2011)

This film is based loosely on the book by Philip K.Dick ‘Adjustment Team’, you remember him he’s also responsible for Blade Runner, Total Recall, A Scanner Darkly, Minority Report, Paycheck, Next and Screamers. Being a fan I had bigger expectations.

I was expecting a wicked Sci Fi because thats what Dicks films usually become. Sadly I missed the warning that it was a romantic thriller and I gotta warn you its really more romance than thrilling. The Adjustment Bureau are a behind the scenes group that occasionally interfere with our world. David (Mat Damon) is running for Senate but he is losing, a chance encounter with Elise (Emily Blunt) in the mens bathroom changes his whole life. They fall in love and find themselves up against The Adjustment Bureau who according to the ‘chairpersons’ plan aren’t meant to be together.

The Adjustment Bureau are colourless, very much like ‘The Observers’ in Fringe and ‘The Strangers’ in Dark City. The film was fun to watch the characters are good but its definitely not what I thought it would be. The vague hint that the chairperson could be God or some spiritual being didn’t really phase or interest me. It just seemed a bit empty, they didn’t really fill out the concept.

The CG etc was brilliant as you’d expect but I was disappointed at the story which just wasn’t strong enough.

Revenge of the Bridesmaids (2010)

Abigail (Raven-Symone) and Parker (Joanna Garcia) are besties living in New York. They return home for Parkers parents anniversary. They get there and find that their frenemy Caitlin (Virginia Williams) has stolen the man of their other friend Rachel (Chryssie Whitehead). They decide to go undercover as bridesmaids to break up the wedding. This movie is as boring as it sounds. The first 30 seconds was interesting but its a steep downhill slide from there. Its probably ok for your mum.

Priest (2011)

Based on a Korean comic Priest is entertaining. So picture this a post apocalyptic world run by… dom dom dom the church but not just any church the roman catholic church! Yikes. After centuries of Vampire vs Humans action, the Humans quarantined the Vamps. The people live in cities ruled/protected by the church or on their own terms out in the wastelands.

Paul Bettany is a Priest a Warrior trained as part of an elite team to eradicate the Vampires… or stupidly enough put them in detention centres. Now he’s stuck being a human relic of a war that once was, forgotton, unappreciated and lost. When his family are attacked by Vampires in the wasteland he declares war.

I was so happy squeely to see Maggie Q as a Warrior Priestess. She is awesome, my Friend Ryzu says Maggie Q is more Jedi in this than any female Jedi he’s seen in a Star Wars movie. The casting of Bettany in a sci fi as a warrior would have been a stretch, he’s scrawny at best. But the guy has a lot of soul, he brings so much depth and believability to the role.

And of course there is a mountain of room for a sequel.

The CG is great, the vampires are super ugly looking more like mutants than the pretty boys we all know so well. The special effects and fight scenes are fun. The bottom line, its a lot of fun, its entertaining. There were the rants about derivative this, cliche that. Is it cliched and derivative yes but will the average b-grade action movie fan care – hells no!

Note: Originally Gerard Butler was picked Bettany’s for the role I’m glad that didn’t work out!